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This book is a practical guide for counselors and therapists who work in the field of interventions with men who have engaged in violence or sexual abuse towards partners and family members. The book argues that intervention practices must move beyond attempts to coerce, confront, or educate a seemingly unwilling or unmotivated man. Instead, it offers respectful intervention practices, necessitating a parallel journey by the therapist, which includes: assisting men in finding an ethical basis and the means to cease abusive behavior and to develop new ways of relating * being informed by political, rather than psychological, metaphors of explanation and understanding * seeing intervention in terms of power relations and practices within families and communities, and within the institutional, statutory, and therapeutic settings in which men participate * moving to a restorative project which promotes the cessation of violence and abuse; promotes the restitution for harm done to individuals, community, and culture; and promotes a reclamation of a sense of integrity for the person who has abused. The book argues that such a parallel journey acknowledges the political nature of the intervention, which shifts the emphasis of the intervention away from an us and them attitude, and has a far more substantial impact in assisting clients to challenge abusive behavior, compared to other practice methods or techniques for intervention. The book is organized in five parts - with four case studies being revisited throughout, from initial engagement through to restitution and family restoration - which: detail invitational theory concerning the nature and politics of violence, resistance, and restorative practice * outline the paradigm for invitational practice, including practices for addressing restraints, establishing an ethical foundation, and addressing abusive practices * present a map with guidelines for an ethical journey, and practices for facilitating this journey in the context of an restorative project * concern invitational context within a relationship and family context * outline a collaborative invitational process for evaluation of goal attainment by men who have abused. Becoming Ethical builds on the invitational model, introduced by Alan Jenkins in his book Invitations to Responsibility (Dulwich, 1990), which has sold over 20,000 copies.
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